Part 3 Book 6 Chapter 6 Taken Prisoner
On one of the last days of the second week, Marius was seated on his bench, as usual, holding in his hand an open book, of which he had not turned a page for the last two hours. All at once he started. An event was taking place at the other extremity of the walk. Leblanc and his daughter had just left their seat, and the daughter had taken her father's arm, and both were advancing slowly, towards the middle of the alley where Marius was. Marius closed his book,then opened it again, then forced himself to read; he trembled;the aureole was coming straight towards him. "Ah! good Heavens!"thought he, "I shall not have time to strike an attitude." Still the how, by some portion of your thought which was fluttering loose, by some distraction which had attacked you. You are lost. The whole of you passes into it. A chain of mysterious forces takes possession of you. You struggle in vain; no more human succor is possible. You go on falling from gearing to gearing, from agony to agony,from torture to torture, you, your mind, your fortune, your future,your soul; and, according to whether you are in the power of a wicked creature, or of a noble heart, you will not escape from this terrifying machine otherwise than disfigured with shame,or transfigured by passion.
He felt his brain on fire. She had come to him, what joy! And then, how she had looked at him! She appeared to him more beautiful than he had ever seen her yet. Beautiful with a beauty which was wholly feminine and angelic, with a complete beauty which would have made Petrarch sing and Dante kneel. It seemed to him that he was floating free in the azure heavens. At the same time,he was horribly vexed because there was dust on his boots.
He thought he felt sure that she had looked at his boots too.
He followed her with his eyes until she disappeared. Then he started up and walked about the Luxembourg garden like a madman. It is possible that, at times, he laughed to himself and talked aloud. He was so dreamy when he came near the children's nurses, that each one of them thought him in love with her.
He quitted the Luxembourg, hoping to find her again in the street. He encountered Courfeyrac under the arcades of the Odeon, and said to him: "Come and dine with me." They went off to Rousseau's and spent six francs. Marius ate like an ogre. He gave the waiter six sous. At dessert, he said to Courfeyrac. "Have you read the paper? What a fine discourse Audry de Puyraveau delivered!"
He was desperately in love.
After dinner, he said to Courfeyrac: "I will treat you to the play." They went to the Porte-Sainte-Martin to see Frederick in l'Auberge des Adrets. Marius was enormously amused.
At the same time, he had a redoubled attack of shyness. On emerging from the theatre, he refused to look at the garter of a modiste who was stepping across a gutter, and Courfeyrac,who said: "I should like to put that woman in my collection,"almost horrified him.
Courfeyrac invited him to breakfast at the Cafe Voltaire on the following morning. Marius went thither, and ate even more than on the preceding evening. He was very thoughtful and very merry. One would have said that he was taking advantage of every occasion to laugh uproariously. He tenderly embraced some man or other from the provinces, who was presented to him. A circle of students formed round the table, and they spoke of the nonsense paid for by the State which was uttered from the rostrum in the Sorbonne, then the conversation fell upon the faults and omissions in Guicherat's dictionaries and grammars. Marius interrupted the discussion to exclaim: "But it is very agreeable, all the same to have the cross!"
"That's queer!" whispered Courfeyrac to Jean Prouvaire.
"No," responded Prouvaire, "that's serious."
It was serious; in fact, Marius had reached that first violent and charming hour with which grand passions begin.
A glance had wrought all this.
When the mine is charged, when the conflagration is ready, nothing is more simple. A glance is a spark.
It was all over with him. Marius loved a woman. His fate was entering the unknown.
The glance of women resembles certain combinations of wheels, which are tranquil in appearance yet formidable. You pass close to them every day, peaceably and with impunity, and without a suspicion of anything. A moment arrives when you forget that the thing is there. You go and come, dream, speak, laugh. All at once you feel yourself clutched; all is over. The wheels hold you fast, the glance has ensnared you. It has caught you, no matter where or how, by some portion of your thought which was fluttering loose, by some distraction which had attacked you. You are lost. The whole of you passes into it. A chain of mysterious forces takes possession of you. You struggle in vain; no more human succor is possible. You go on falling from gearing to gearing, from agony to agony,from torture to torture, you, your mind, your fortune, your future,your soul; and, according to whether you are in the power of a wicked creature, or of a noble heart, you will not escape from this terrifying machine otherwise than disfigured with shame,or transfigured by passion.
在第二个星期最后几天中的一天，马吕斯照常坐在他的板凳上，手里拿着一本书，打开已经两个钟头了，却一页还没有翻过。他忽然吃了一惊。在那小路的那一头发生了一件大事。白先生和他的女儿刚刚离开了他们的板凳，姑娘挽着她父亲的手臂，两个人一同朝着小路的中段，马吕斯所在的地方，慢慢走来了。马吕斯连忙合上他的书，继又把它打开，继又强迫自己阅读。他浑身发抖。那团宝光直向他这面来了。“啊！我的天主！”他想，“我再也来不及摆出一个姿势了。”这时，那白发男子和姑娘向前走着。他仿佛觉得这事将延续一个世纪，同时又感到只要一秒钟便完了。“他们到这边来干什么？”他问他自己，“怎么！她要走过这儿！她的脚会在这沙子上踩过去，会在这小路上，离我两步远的地方走过去！”他心慌得厉害，他多么希望自己是个极美的男子，他多么希望自己能有一个十字勋章。他听到他们脚步的软柔、有节奏的声音越来越近了。他想白先生一定瞪着一双生气的眼睛在望他。他想道：“难道这位先生要来找我的麻烦不成？”他把头埋了下去；当他重行抬起头来时，他们已到了他身边。那姑娘走过去了，一面望着他一面走过去。她带一种若有所思的和蔼神情，定定地望着他，使马吕斯从头颤抖到脚。他仿佛觉得她是在责备他这么多天不到她那边去，并且是在对他说：“我只好找来了。”马吕斯面对这双光辉四射、深不可测的眸子，心慌目眩，呆呆地发愣。
他感到在他脑子里燃起了一团炽炭。她居然来就他，多大的喜悦啊！并且她又是怎样望着他的呵！她的相貌，比起他从前见到的显得更加美丽了。她的美是由女性美和天仙美合成的，是要使彼特拉克①歌唱、但丁拜倒的完全的美。他好象已在遨游碧空了。同时他又感到事不凑巧，心里好不难过，因为他的靴子上有尘土。
①彼特拉克（Pétrarque，1304?374），文艺复兴时期杰出的意大利诗人。
毫无疑问他认为她一定也注视过他的靴子。
他用眼睛伴送着她，直到望不见她的时候。随后，他象个疯子似的在公园里走来走去。很可能他曾多次独自大笑，大声说话。他在那些领孩子的保姆跟前显得那么心事重重，使她们每个人都认为他爱上了自己。
他跑出公园，希望能在街上遇到她。
他在奥德翁戏院的走廊下碰见了古费拉克，他说：“我请你吃晚饭。”他们去到卢梭店里，花了六个法郎。马吕斯象饿鬼似的吃了一顿，给了堂倌六个苏。在进甜食时，他对古费拉克说：“你读过报纸了？奥德利·德·比拉弗①的那篇讲演多么漂亮！”
他已经爱到了神魂颠倒的地步。
晚饭后，他又对古费拉克说：“我请你看戏。”他们走到圣马尔丹门去看弗雷德里克演《阿德雷客店》。马吕斯看得兴高采烈。
同时，他也比平日显得格外腼腆。他们走出戏院时，有个做帽子的女工正跨过一条水沟，他避而下看她的吊袜带，当时古费拉克说：“我很乐意把这女人收在我的集子里。”他几乎感到恶心。
第二天，古费拉克邀他到伏尔泰咖啡馆吃午饭。马吕斯去了，比前一晚吃得更多。他好象有满腹心事，却又非常愉快。仿佛他要抓住一切机会来扯开嗓子狂笑。有人把一个不相干的外省人介绍给他，他竟一往情深地拥抱他。许多同学走来挤在他们的桌子周围，大家谈了些关于由国家出钱收买到巴黎大学讲坛上散播的傻话，继又谈到多种词典和基什拉②诗律学中的错误和漏洞。马吕斯忽然打断大家的谈话大声嚷道：“能搞到一个十字勋章，那才惬意呐！”
①奥德利·德·比拉弗，当时夏朗德省极左派议员。
②基什拉（Quicherat，1799?884），法国哲学家，文字学家。
“这真滑稽！”古费拉克低声对让·勃鲁维尔说。
“不，”让·勃鲁维尔回答，“这真严重。”
确实严重。马吕斯正处在狂烈感情前期那惊心动魄的阶段。
这全是望了一眼的后果。
当炸药已装好，引火物已备妥，这就再简单也没有了。一盼便是一粒火星。
全完了。马吕斯爱上了一个女人。他的命运进入了未知的境地。
女性的那一眼很象某些成套的齿轮，外表平静，力量却猛不可当。人每天安安稳稳、平安无事地打它旁边走过，并不怀疑会发生什么意外，有时甚至会忘记身边的这样东西。大家走来走去，胡思乱想，有说有笑。突然一下有人感到被夹住了，全完了。那齿轮把你拖住了，那一眼把你勾住了。它勾住了你，无论勾住什么地方，怎样勾住你的，勾住你拖沓的思想的一角也好，勾住你一时的大意也好棗你算是完了。你整个人将滚进去。一连串神秘的力量控制着你。你挣扎，毫无用处。人力已无能为力。你将从一个齿轮转到另一个齿轮，一层烦恼转到另一层烦恼，一场痛苦转到另一场痛苦，你，你的精神，你的财富，你的前途，你的灵魂，而且，还得看你是落在一个性情凶恶的人手里还是落在一个心地高尚的人手里，你将来从这骇人的机器里出来时只能羞惭满面，不成人形，或是被这狂烈感情改变得面目一新。