Part 1 Chapter 48
MASLOVA REFUSES TO MARRY.
The jailer who had brought Maslova in sat on a windowsill at some distance from them.
The decisive moment had come for Nekhludoff. He had been incessantly blaming himself for not having told her the principal thing at the first interview, and was now determined to tell her that he would marry her. She was sitting at the further side of the table. Nekhludoff sat down opposite her. It was light in the room, and Nekhludoff for the first time saw her face quite near. He distinctly saw the crowsfeet round her eyes, the wrinkles round her mouth, and the swollen eyelids. He felt more sorry than before. Leaning over the table so as not to be beard by the jailer--a man of Jewish type with grizzly whiskers, who sat by the window--Nekhludoff said:
"Should this petition come to nothing we shall appeal to the Emperor. All that is possible shall be done."
"There, now, if we had had a proper advocate from the first," she interrupted. "My defendant was quite a silly. He did nothing but pay me compliments," she said, and laughed. "If it had then been known that I was acquainted with you, it would have been another matter. They think every one's a thief."
"How strange she is to-day," Nekhludoff thought, and was just going to say what he had on his mind when she began again:
"There's something I want to say. We have here an old woman; such a fine one, d'you know, she just surprises every one; she is imprisoned for nothing, and her son, too, and everybody knows they are innocent, though they are accused of having set fire to a house. D'you know, hearing I was acquainted with you, she says: 'Tell him to ask to see my son; he'll tell him all about it."' Thus spoke Maslova, turning her head from side to side, and glancing at Nekhludoff. "Their name's Menshoff. Well, will you do it? Such a fine old thing, you know; you can see at once she's innocent. You'll do it, there's a dear," and she smiled, glanced up at him, and then cast down her eyes.
"All right. I'll find out about them," Nekhludoff said, more and more astonished by her free-and-easy manner. "But I was going to speak to you about myself. Do you remember what I told you last time?"
"You said a lot last time. What was it you told me?" she said, continuing to smile and to turn her head from side to side.
"I said I had come to ask you to forgive me," he began.
"What's the use of that? Forgive, forgive, where's the good of--"
"To atone for my sin, not by mere words, but in deed. I have made up my mind to marry you."
An expression of fear suddenly came over her face. Her squinting eyes remained fixed on him, and yet seemed not to be looking at him.
"What's that for?" she said, with an angry frown.
"I feel that it is my duty before God to do it."
"What God have you found now? You are not saying what you ought to. God, indeed! What God? You ought to have remembered God then," she said, and stopped with her mouth open. It was only now that Nekhludoff noticed that her breath smelled of spirits, and that he understood the cause of her excitement.
"Try and be calm," he said.
"Why should I be calm?" she began, quickly, flushing scarlet. "I am a convict, and you are a gentleman and a prince. There's no need for you to soil yourself by touching me. You go to your princesses; my price is a ten-rouble note."
"However cruelly you may speak, you cannot express what I myself am feeling," he said, trembling all over; "you cannot imagine to what extent I feel myself guilty towards you."
"Feel yourself guilty?" she said, angrily mimicking him. "You did not feel so then, but threw me 100 roubles. That's your price."
"I know, I know; but what is to be done now?" said Nekhludoff. "I have decided not to leave you, and what I have said I shall do."
"And I say you sha'n't," she said, and laughed aloud.
"Katusha" he said, touching her hand.
"You go away. I am a convict and you a prince, and you've no business here," she cried, pulling away her hand, her whole appearance transformed by her wrath. "You've got pleasure out of me in this life, and want to save yourself through me in the life to come. You are disgusting to me--your spectacles and the whole of your dirty fat mug. Go, go!" she screamed, starting to her feet.
The jailer came up to them.
"What are you kicking up this row for?' That won't--"
"Let her alone, please," said Nekhludoff.
"She must not forget herself," said the jailer. "Please wait a little," said Nekhludoff, and the jailer returned to the window.
Maslova sat down again, dropping her eyes and firmly clasping her small hands.
Nekhludoff stooped over her, not knowing what to do.
"You do not believe me?" he said.
"That you mean to marry me? It will never be. I'll rather hang myself. So there!"
"Well, still I shall go on serving you."
"That's your affair, only I don't want anything from you. I am telling you the plain truth," she said. "Oh, why did I not die then?" she added, and began to cry piteously.
Nekhludoff could not speak; her tears infected him.
She lifted her eyes, looked at him in surprise, and began to wipe her tears with her kerchief.
The jailer came up again and reminded them that it was time to part.
Maslova rose.
"You are excited. If it is possible, I shall come again tomorrow; you think it over," said Nekhludoff.
She gave him no answer and, without looking up, followed the jailer out of the room.
"Well, lass, you'll have rare times now," Korableva said, when Maslova returned to the cell. "Seems he's mighty sweet on you; make the most of it while he's after you. He'll help you out. Rich people can do anything."
"Yes, that's so," remarked the watchman's wife, with her musical voice. "When a poor man thinks of getting married, there's many a slip 'twixt the cup and the lip; but a rich man need only make up his mind and it's done. We knew a toff like that duckie. What d'you think he did?"
"Well, have you spoken about my affairs?" the old woman asked.
But Maslova gave her fellow-prisoners no answer; she lay down on the shelf bedstead, her squinting eyes fixed on a corner of the room, and lay there until the evening.
A painful struggle went on in her soul. What Nekhludoff had told her called up the memory of that world in which she had suffered and which she had left without having understood, hating it. She now feared to wake from the trance in which she was living. Not having arrived at any conclusion when evening came, she again bought some vodka and drank with her companions.
带玛丝洛娃来的看守在离桌子稍远的窗台上坐下。对聂赫留朵夫来说，决定命运的时刻到了。他不断责备自己，上次见面没有说出主要的话，就是他打算跟她结婚。现在他下定决心要把这话说出来。玛丝洛娃坐在桌子一边，聂赫留朵夫坐在她对面。屋子里光线很亮，聂赫留朵夫第一次在近距离看清她的脸：眼睛边上有鱼尾纹，嘴唇周围也有皱纹，眼皮浮肿。他见了越发怜悯她了。
他把臂肘搁在桌上，身一子凑近她。这样说话就不会让那个坐在窗台上、络腮一胡一子花白、脸型象犹太人的看守听见，而只让她一个人听见。他说：
“要是这个状子不管用，那就去告御状。凡是办得到的事，我们都要去办。”
“唉，要是当初有个好律师就好了……”她打断他的话说。
“我那个辩护人是个十足的笨蛋。他老是对我说肉麻话，”她说着笑了。“要是当初人家知道我跟您认识，情况就会大不相同了。可现在呢？他们总是把人家都看成小偷。”
“她今天好怪，”聂赫留朵夫想，刚要说出他的心事，却又被她抢在前头了。
“我还有一件事要跟您说。我们那儿有个老婆子，人品挺好。说实在的，大家都弄不懂是怎么搞的，这样一个顶刮刮的老婆子，竟然也叫她坐牢，不但她坐牢，连她儿子也一起坐牢。大家都知道他们没犯罪，可是有人控告他们放火，他们就坐了牢。她呀，说实在的，知道我跟您认识，”玛丝洛娃一面说，一面转动脑袋，不时瞟聂赫留朵夫一眼，“她就说：‘你跟他说一声，让他把我儿子叫出来，我儿子会原原本本讲给他听的。’那老婆子叫明肖娃。怎么样，您能办一办吗？说实在的，她真是个顶刮刮的老婆子，分明是受了冤枉。好人儿，您就给她帮个忙吧，”玛丝洛娃说，对他瞧瞧，又垂下眼睛笑笑。
“好的，我来办，我先去了解一下，”聂赫留朵夫说，对她的态度那么随便，越来越感到惊奇。“但我自己有事要跟您谈谈。您还记得我那次对您说的话吗？”他说。
“您说了好多话。上次您说了些什么呀？”玛丝洛娃一面说，一面不停地微笑，脑袋一会儿转到这边，一会儿转到那边。
“我说过，我来是为了求您的饶恕，”聂赫留朵夫说。
“嘿，何必呢，老是饶恕饶恕的，用不着来那一套……您最好还是……”
“我说过我要赎我的罪，”聂赫留朵夫继续说，“不是嘴上说说，我要拿出实际行动来。我决定跟您结婚。”
玛丝洛娃脸上顿时现出恐惧的神色。她那双斜睨的眼睛发呆了，又象在瞧他，又象不在瞧他。
“这又是为什么呀？”玛丝洛娃愤愤地皱起眉头说。
“我觉得我应该在上帝面前这样做。”
“怎么又弄出个上帝来了？您说的话总是不对头。上帝？什么上帝？咳，当初您要是记得上帝就好了，”她说了这些话，又张开嘴，但没有再说下去。
聂赫留朵夫这时闻到她嘴里有一股强烈的酒味，才明白她激动的原因。
“您安静点儿，”他说。
“我可用不着安静。你以为我醉了吗？我是有点儿醉，但我明白我在说什么，”玛丝洛娃突然急急地说，脸涨得通红，“我是个苦役犯，是个……您是老爷，是公爵，你不用来跟我惹麻烦，免得辱没你的身分。还是找你那些公爵小一姐去吧，我的价钱是一张红票子。”
“不管你说得怎样尖刻，也说不出我心里是什么滋味，”聂赫留朵夫浑身哆嗦，低声说，“你不会懂得，我觉得我对你犯了多大的罪！……”
“‘我觉得犯了多大的罪……’”玛丝洛娃恶狠狠地学着他的腔调说。“当初你并没有感觉到，却塞给我一百卢布。瞧，这就是你出的价钱……”
“我知道，我知道，可如今我该怎么办呢？”聂赫留朵夫说。
“如今我决定再也不离开你了，”他重复说，“我说到一定做到。”
“可我敢说，你做不到！”玛丝洛娃说着，大声笑起来。
“卡秋莎！”聂赫留朵夫一面说，一面摸一摸她的手。
“你给我走开！我是个苦役犯，你是位公爵，你到这儿来干什么？”她尖声叫道，气得脸都变色了，从他的手里一抽一出手来。“你想利用我来拯救你自己，”玛丝洛娃继续说，急不及待地把一肚子怨气都发泄一出来。“你今世利用我作乐，来世还想利用我来拯救你自己！我讨厌你，讨厌你那副眼镜，讨厌你这个又肥又丑的嘴脸。走，你给我走！”她霍地站起来，嚷道。
看守走到他们跟前。
“你闹什么！怎么可以这样……”
“您就让她去吧，”聂赫留朵夫说。
“叫她别太放肆了，”看守说。
“不，请您再等一下，”聂赫留朵夫说。
看守又走到窗子那边。
玛丝洛娃垂下眼睛，把她那双小手的手指紧紧地一交一叉在一起，又坐下了。
聂赫留朵夫站在她前面，不知道该怎么办才好。
“你不相信我，”他说。
“您说您想结婚，这永远办不到。我宁可上吊！这就是我要对您说的。”
“我还是要为你出力。”
“哼，那是您的事。我什么也不需要您帮忙。我对您说的是实话，”玛丝洛娃说。“唉，我当初为什么没死掉哇？”她说到这里伤心得痛哭起来。
聂赫留朵夫说不出话，玛丝洛娃的眼泪也引得他哭起来。
玛丝洛娃抬起眼睛，对他瞧了一眼，仿佛感到惊奇似的，接着用头巾擦擦脸颊上的眼泪。
这时看守又走过来，提醒他们该分手了。玛丝洛娃站起来。
“您今天有点激动。要是可能，我明天再来。您考虑考虑吧，”聂赫留朵夫说。
玛丝洛娃一句话也没有回答，也没有对他瞧一眼，就跟着看守走出去。
“嘿，姑一娘一，这下子你可要走运了，”玛丝洛娃回到牢房里，柯拉勃列娃就对她说。“看样子，他被你迷住了。趁他来找你，你别错过机会。他会把你救出去的。有钱人什么事都有办法。”
“这倒是真的，”道口工用唱歌一般好听的声音说。“穷人成亲夜晚也短，有钱人想什么有什么，要怎么办就准能办到。
好姑一娘一，我们那里就有一个体面人，他呀……”
“怎么样，我的事你提了没有？”那个老婆子问。
玛丝洛娃没有回答同伴们的话，却在板铺上躺下来。她那双斜睨的眼睛呆呆地望着墙角。她就这样一直躺到傍晚。她的内心展开了痛苦的活动。聂赫留朵夫那番话使她回到了那个她无法理解而对之满怀仇恨的世界。她在受尽了折磨后离开了那地方。现在她已经无法把往事搁在一边，浑浑噩噩地过日子，而要清醒地生活下去又实在太痛苦了。到傍晚，她就又买了些酒，跟同伴们一起痛饮起来。