Chapter 26
Summer was already past its prime, when Edgar reluctantly yielded his assent to their entreaties, and Catherine and I set out on our first ride to join her cousin. It was a close, sultry day: devoid of sunshine, but with a sky too dappled and hazy to threaten rain; and our place of meeting had been fixed at the guide-stone, by the crossroads. On arriving there, however, a little herd-boy, dispatched as a messenger, told us that:
`Maister Linton wer just ut this side th' Heights: and he'd be mitch obleeged to us to gang on a bit farther.'
`Then Master Linton has forgot the first injunction of his uncle,' I observed: `he bid us keep on the Grange land, and here we are off at once.'
`Well, we'll turn our horses' heads round, when we reach him,' answered my companion, `our excursion shall lie towards home.'
But when we reached him, and that was scarcely a quarter of a mile from his own door, we found he had no horse; and we were forced to dismount, and leave ours to graze. He lay on the heath, awaiting our approach, and did not rise till we came within a few yards. Then he walked so feebly, and looked so pale, that I immediately exclaimed:
`Why, Master Heathcliff, you are not fit for enjoying a ramble, this morning. How ill you do look!'
Catherine surveyed him with grief and astonishment; and changed the ejaculation of joy on her lips, to one of alarm; and the congratulation on their long-postponed meeting, to an anxious inquiry, whether he were worse than usual?
`No--better--better!' he panted, trembling, and retaining her hand as if he needed its support, while his large blue eyes wandered timidly over her; the hollowness round them transforming to haggard wildness the languid expression they once possessed.
`But you have been worse,' persisted his cousin; `worse than when I saw you last; you are thinner, and--
`I'm tired,' he interrupted hurriedly. `It is too hot for walking, let us rest here. And, in the morning, I often feel sick--papa says I grow so fast.'
Badly satisfied, Cathy sat down, and he reclined beside her.
`This is something like your paradise,' said she, making an effort at cheerfulness. `You recollect the two days we agreed to spend in the place and way each thought pleasantest? This is surely yours, only there are clouds: but then they are so soft and mellow: it is nicer than sunshine. Next week, if you can, we'll ride down to the Grange Park, and try mine.'
Linton did not appear to remember what she talked of; and he had evidently great difficulty in sustaining any kind of conversation. His lack of interest in the subjects she started, and his equal incapacity to contribute to her entertainment, were so obvious that she could not conceal her disappointment. An indefinite alteration had come over his whole person and manner. The pettishness that might be caressed into fondness, had yielded to a listless apathy; there was less of the peevish temper of a child which frets and teases on purpose to be soothed, and more of the self-absorbed moroseness of a confirmed invalid, repelling consolation, and ready to regard the good-humoured mirth of others as an insult. Catherine perceived, as well as I did, that he held it rather a punishment, than a gratification, to endure our company; and she made no scruple of proposing, presently, to depart. That proposal, unexpectedly, roused Linton from his lethargy, and threw him into a strange state of agitation. He glanced fearfully towards the Heights, begging she would remain another half-hour at least.
`But I think', said Cathy, `you'd be more comfortable at home than sitting here; and I cannot amuse you today, I see, by my tales, and songs, and chatter: you have grown wiser than I, in these six months; you have little taste for my diversions now: or else, if I could amuse you, I'd willingly stay.'
`Stay to rest yourself,' he replied. `And Catherine, don't think, or say that I'm very unwell: it is the heavy weather and heat that make me dull; and I walked about, before you came, a great deal for me. Tell uncle I'm in tolerable health, will you?'
`I'll tell him that you say so, Linton. I couldn't affirm that you are,' observed my young lady, wondering at his pertinacious assertion of what was evidently an untruth.
`And be here again next Thursday,' continued he, shunning her puzzled gaze. `And give him my thanks for permitting you to come--my best thanks, Catherine. And-and, if you did meet my father, and he asked you about me, don't lead him to suppose that I've been extremely silent and stupid: don't look sad and downcast, as you are doing--he'll be angry.'
`I care nothing for his anger,' exclaimed Cathy, imagining she would be its object.
`But I do,' said her cousin, shuddering. `Don't provoke him against me, Catherine, for he is very hard.'
`Is he severe to you, Master Heathcliff?' I inquired. `Has he grown weary of indulgence, and passed from passive to active hatred?'
Linton looked at me, but did not answer; and, after keeping her seat by his side another ten minutes, during which his head fell drowsily on his breast, and he uttered nothing except suppressed moans of exhaustion or pain, Cathy began to seek solace in looking for bilberries, and sharing the produce of her researches with me: she did not offer them to him, for she saw further notice would only weary and annoy.
`Is it half an hour now, Ellen?' she whispered in my ear, at last. `I can't tell why we should stay. He's asleep, and papa will be wanting us back.'
`Well, we must not leave him asleep,' I answered; `wait till he wakes, and be patient. You were mighty eager to set off, but your longing to see poor Linton has soon evaporated!'
`Why did he wish to see me?' returned Catherine. `In his crossest humours, formerly, I liked him better than I do in his present curious mood. It's just as if it were a task he was compelled to perform--this interview--for fear his father should scold him. But I'm hardly going to come to give Mr Heathcliff pleasure; whatever reason he may have for ordering Linton to undergo this penance. And, though I'm glad he's better in health, I'm sorry he's so much less pleasant, and so much less affectionate to me.'
`You think he is better in health then?' I said.
`Yes,' she answered; `because he always made such a great deal of his sufferings, you know. He is not tolerably well, as he told me to tell papa; but he's better, very likely.'
`There you differ with me, Miss Cathy,' I remarked; `I should conjecture him to be far worse.'
Linton here started from his slumber in bewildered terror, and asked if anyone had called his name.
`No,' said Catherine; `unless in dreams. I cannot conceive how you manage to doze out of doors, in the morning.'
`I thought I heard my father,' he gasped, glancing up to the frowning nab above us. `You are sure nobody spoke?'
`Quite sure,' replied his cousin. `Only Ellen and I were disputing concerning your health. Are you truly stronger, Linton, than when we separated in winter? If you be I'm certain one thing is not stronger--your regard for me: speak,--are you?'
The tears gushed from Linton's eyes as he answered, `Yes, yes, I am!' And, still under the spell of the imaginary voice, his gaze wandered up and down to detect its owner. Cathy rose. `For today we must part,' she said. `And I won't conceal that I have been sadly disappointed with our meeting; though I'll mention it to nobody but you: not that I stand in awe of Mr Heathcliff.'
`Hush,' murmured Linton: `for God's sake, hush! He's coming.' And he clung to Catherine's arm, striving to detain her; but at that announcement she hastily disengaged herself, and whistled to Minny, who obeyed her like a dog.
`I'll be here next Thursday,' she cried, springing to the saddle. `Goodbye. Quick, Ellen!'
And so we left him, scarcely conscious of our departure, so absorbed was he in anticipating his father's approach.
Before we reached home, Catherine's displeasure softened into a perplexed sensation of pity and regret, largely blended with vague, uneasy doubts about Linton's actual circumstances, physical and social; in which I partook, though I counselled her not to say much; for a second journey would make us better judges. My master requested an account of our ongoings. His nephew's offering of thanks was duly delivered, Miss Cathy gently touching on the rest: I also threw little light on his inquiries, for I hardly knew what to hide, and what to reveal.
当埃德加勉强答应了他们的恳求时，盛夏差不多过了，凯瑟琳和我头一回骑马出发去见她的表弟。那是一个郁闷酷热的日子，没有阳光，天上却阴霾不雨；我们相见的地点约定在十字路口的指路碑那儿。然而，我们到达那里时，一个奉命作带信人的小牧童告诉我们说：“林惇少爷就在山庄这边；
要是你们肯再走一点路，他将很感激你们。”
“那么林惇少爷已经忘了他舅舅的第一道禁令了。”我说，“他叫我们只能在田庄上，而我们马上就要越界了。”
“那么等我们到达他那儿时就掉转马头吧，”我的同伴回答，“我们再往家里走。”
可是当我们到达他那里时，已经离他家门口不到四分之一英里了，我们发现他没有带马；我们只好下马，让马去吃草。他躺在草地上，等我们来，而且一直等到我们离他只有几码远时他才站起来，看到他走路这么没劲，脸色又是这么苍白，我立刻嚷起来，——“怎么，希刺克厉夫少爷，今天早上你不适宜出来散步哩。你的气色多不好呀！”
凯瑟琳又难过又惊惶地打量着他：她那到了嘴边的欢呼变成一声惊叫；他们久别重逢的庆贺变成了一句焦急的问话：
他是否比往常病得更重呢：
“不——好一点——好一点！”他喘着，颤抖着，握住她的手，仿佛他需要它的扶持似的，当时他的大蓝眼睛怯懦地向她望着；两眼的下陷使那往日所具有的无精打采的样子变成憔悴的狂野表情了。
“可是你是病得重些了，”他的表姐坚持说，“比我上次看见你时重些；你瘦啦，而且——”
“我累了，”他急忙打断她。“走路太热了，我们在这儿歇歇吧。早上，我常常不舒服——爸爸说我长得很快呢。”
凯瑟琳很不满意地坐下来，他在她身旁半躺着。
“这有点像你的天堂了，”她说，尽力愉快起来。“你还记得我们同意按照每人认为最愉快的地点与方式来消磨两天么？这可接近你的理想了，只是有云；可是这草是这样的轻柔松软：那比阳光还好哩。下星期，要是你能够的话，我们就骑马到田庄的园林里来试试我的方式。”
看来林惇不记得她说过的事了；显然，要他无论谈什么话他都很费劲。他对于她所提起的一些话头都不感兴趣，想使她快乐他也同样无能为力，这些都是如此明显，她也不能掩盖她的失望了。他整个的人和态度已经有了一种说不出的变化。原先那种暴性子，本来还可以被爱抚软化成娇气，现在却变成冷淡无情了；小孩子为了要人安慰而麻烦人的那种任性少了一些，添上的却是一个确实有病的人那种对自己坏脾气的专注，抗拒安慰，并且准备把别人真诚的欢乐当作一种侮辱。凯瑟琳看出来了，和我一样地看出来了，他认为我们陪他，是一种惩罚，而不是一种喜悦；她立刻毫不犹豫地建议就此分手。出乎意料之外，那个建议却把林惇从他的昏沉中唤醒，使他堕入一种激动的奇怪状态。他害怕地向山庄溜了一眼，求她至少再逗留半个钟头。
“可是我想，”凯蒂说，“你在家比坐在这里舒服多了；今天我也不能用我的故事、歌儿和聊天来给你解闷了：在这六个月里，你变得比我聪明多啦；现在你对于我的消遣已经觉得不大有趣了，要不，如果我能给你解闷，我是愿意留下来的。”
“留下来，歇歇吧，”他回答。“凯瑟琳，别认为、也别说我很不舒服；是这闷热的天气使我兴味索然；而且在你来以前我走来走去，对我来说，是走得太多了。告诉舅舅我还健康，好吗？”
“我要告诉他是你这么说的，林惇。我不能肯定你是健康的，”我的小姐说，不懂他怎么那样执拗地一味说些明明不符合事实的话。
“而且下星期四再到这里来，”他接着说，避开她的困惑的凝视。“代我谢谢他允许你来——向他致谢——十分感谢，凯瑟琳。还有——还有，要是你真的遇见了我父亲，他要向你问起我的话，别让他猜想我是非常笨嘴拙舌的。别做出难过丧气的样子，像你现在这样——他会生气的。”
“我才不在乎他生气哩，”凯蒂想到他会生她的气，就叫道。
“可是我在乎，”她的表弟说，颤栗着。“别惹他责怪我，凯瑟琳，因为他是很严厉的。”
“他待你很凶吗，希刺克厉夫少爷？”我问。“他可是已经开始厌倦放任纵容，从消极的恨转成积极的恨了吗？”
林惇望望我，却没有回答：她在他旁边又坐了十分钟，这十分钟内他的头昏昏欲睡地垂在胸前，什么也不说，只发出由于疲乏或痛苦所产生的压抑的呻吟，凯瑟琳开始寻找覆盆子解闷了，把她所找到的分给我一点：她没有给他，因为她看出再来注意他反而使他烦恼。
“现在有半个钟头了吧，艾伦？”最后，她在我耳旁小声说。“我不懂我们干吗非待在这里不可。他睡着了，爸爸也该盼我们回去了。”
“那么，我们绝不能丢下他睡着，”我回答，“等他醒过来吧，要忍耐。你本来非常热心出来，可是你对可怜的林惇的思念很快地消散啦！”
“他为什么愿意见我呢？”凯瑟琳回答。“像他从前那种别扭脾气，我放比较喜欢他些，总比他现在的古怪心情好。那正像是他被迫来完成一个任务似的——这次见面——唯恐他父亲会骂他。可是我来，可不是为了给希刺克厉夫先生凑趣的；不管他有什么理由命令林惇来受这个罪。虽然我很高兴他的健康情况好些了，但他变得如此不愉快，而且对我也不亲热，使我很难过。”
“那么你以为他的健康情况是好些吗？”我说。
“是的，”她回答，“你得知道他可是很会夸张他所受的苦痛的。他不像他叫我告诉爸爸的那样好多了，可是他真是好些了。”
“在这点上你和我看法不同，”我说，“我猜想他是糟多了。”
这时林惇从迷糊中惊醒过来，问我们可有人喊过他的名字。
“没有，”凯瑟琳说，“除非你是在作梦。我不能想象你怎么早上在外面也要瞌睡。”
“我觉得听见我父亲的声音了，”他喘息着，溜了一眼我们上面的森严的山顶。“你们准知道刚才没人说话吗？”
“没错儿，”他表姐回答。“只有艾伦和我在争论你的健康情况。林惇，你是真的比我们在冬天分手时强壮些吗？如果是的话，我相信有一点却没有加强——你对于我的重视：说吧，——你是不是？”
“是的，是的，我是强壮些！”在他回答的时候，眼泪涌出来了。他仍然被那想象的声音所左右，他的目光上上下下的找着那发出声音的人。凯蒂站起来。“今天我们该分手了，”她说。“我不瞒你，我对于我们的见面非常失望，不过除了对你，我不会跟别人说的：可也不是因为我怕希刺克厉夫先生。”
“嘘，”林惇喃喃地说，“看在上帝面上，别吭气！他来啦。”他抓住凯瑟琳的胳臂，想留住她；可是一听这个宣告，她连忙挣脱，向敏妮呼啸一声，它像条狗一样的应声来了。
“下星期四我到这儿来，”她喊，跳上了马鞍。“再见。艾伦！”
于是我们就离开了他，他却还不大清楚我们走开，因为他全神贯注在期待他父亲的到来。
我们没到家之前，凯瑟琳的不快已经缓解成为一种怜悯与抱憾的迷惑的感情，大部分还掺合着对林惇身体与处境的真实情况所感到的隐隐约约的、不安的怀疑，我也有同感，虽然我劝她不要说得太过火，因为第二次的出游或者可以使我们更好地判断一下。我主人要我们报告出去的情形，他外甥的致谢当然转达了，凯蒂小姐把其余的事都轻描淡写地带过：对于他的追问，我也没说什么，因为我简直不知道该隐瞒什么和说出来什么。