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You were entranced at the idea of my sending lawyers’ letters to your father, as well as yourself[148a]. It was your suggestion. I could not tell you that your mother was strongly against the idea, for she had bound me with the most solemn promises never to tell you about her letters to me, and I foolishly kept my promise to her. Don’t you see that it was wrong of her not to speak directly to you? That all the backstairs-interviews with me, and, the area-gate correspondence[148b] were wrong? Nobody can shift their responsibilities on anyone else. They always return ultimately to the proper owner[148c]. Your one idea of life, your one philosophy, if you are to be credited with a philosophy, was that whatever you did was to be paid for by someone else: I don’t mean merely in the financial sense—that was simply the practical application of your philosophy to everyday life—but in the broadcast, fullest sense of transferred responsibility. You made that your creed. It was very successful as far as it went. You forced me into taking the action because you knew that your father would not attack your life or yourself in any way, and that I would defend both to the utmost, and take on my own shoulders whatever would be thrust on me. You were quite right. Your father and I, each from different motives of course, did exactly as you counted on our doing. But somehow, in spite of everything, you have not really escaped. The “infant Samuel theory,” as for brevity’s sake one may term it, is all very well as far as the general world goes. It may be a good deal scorned in London, and a little sneered at in Oxford, but that is merely because there are a few people who know you in each place, and because in each place you left traces of you passage[148d]. Outside of a small set in those two cities, the world looks on you as the good young man who was very nearly tempted into wrong-doing by the wicked and immoral artist, but was rescued just in time by his kind and loving father. It sounds all right. And yet, you know you have not escaped. I am not referring to a silly question asked by a silly juryman, which was of course treated with contempt by the Crown and by the Judge. No one cared about that. I am referring perhaps principally to yourself. In your own eyes, and some day you will have to think of your conduct, you are not, cannot be quite satisfied at the way in which things have turned out. Secretly you must think of yourself with a good deal of shame. A brazen face is a capital thing to show the world, but now and then when you are alone, and have no audience, you have, I suppose, to take the mask off for mere breathing purposes. Else, indeed, you would be stifled[148e].
一想到不但你自己，连我也给你父亲寄律师信，你乐不可支的[148a]。都是你的主意。我又不能对你说你母亲非常反对这么做，因为她用最庄严的许诺约束我，绝对不能告诉你有关她写信的事，而我又愚蠢地信守了我的诺言。难道你还不认为，她不直接同你谈是错的吗？同我暗地里的谈话、偷偷摸摸的通信[148b]，这些全是错的吗？谁都不能把应负的责任推诿给别人。推出去的责任，大大小小最后总要归回到该负的人身上[148c]。你唯一的生活理念，你唯一的人生哲学，如果你还有什么哲学的话，那就是你做的事不管什么，都要由别人承担：我并不单是指的钱财——那无非是你的哲学在日常生活实惠中的运用罢了——我说的是最广泛、最充分意义上的推脱责任。你以此为信条。说起来还真屡试不爽呢。你逼我采取行动，因为你明白，你父亲绝不会对你的生活或人身进行攻击，而这两样我又会护卫到底，并且会大事小事统统往自己身上揽的。你算得还很准。你父亲和我，双方的动机固然不同，却一毫不差地照你所盘算的那样行事。但尽管如此，天晓得你并未能真正的逃脱干系。那 “少年塞缪尔论”，为简洁起见姑妄称之，在一般人当中还可以大行其道。在伦敦可能很有些人会嗤之以鼻，在牛津也免不了遭人讪笑，但这不过是因为在那两地都有些人知道你，而你也人过留名[148d]的缘故。 除了这两个城市中的一小圈人以外，世人都拿你当个好后生看待，差点让那个刁顽卑鄙的艺术家引入歧途，在千钧一发之际被慈祥仁爱的父亲救了下来。听起来很有道理。然而，你知道自己并未逃脱。我说的不是一个傻陪审员问的傻问题，这问题法庭和法官当然不屑理会。谁也不拿它当回事。我指的也许主要是你本人。在你自己看来，而且有一天你将不得不考虑你的为人，你并没有，也不会对事情闹成这样觉得心安理得。暗地里你必定会为自己觉得羞愧难当。用一张厚脸皮面对世界是手绝活，但不时的，当你孤身一人，当观众不在跟前时，我想，就不得不把面具取下来，即使是为了喘口气。要不然，真的，你会憋死的[148e]。
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