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I have told you this account of the mode of my being conveyed here simply that you should realise how hard it has been for me to get anything out of my punishment but bitterness and despair. I have however to do it, and now and then I have moments of submission and acceptance. All the spring may be hidden in a single bud, and the low ground-nest of the lark may hold the joy that is to herald the feet of many rose-red dawns[137a], and so perhaps whatever beauty of life still remains to me is contained in some moment[137b] of surrender, abasement and humiliation. I can, at any rate, merely proceed on the lines of my own development, and by accepting all that has happened to me make myself worthy of it.给你说了我是怎么被转到这里来的,只不过是要让你明白,除了苦涩和绝望,要我从身受的惩罚中感受出别的什么,曾经是多难的一件事。然而,不得不这么做,不时地我经历了屈服和认命的时刻。单单一个花蕾,可以藏着整片春光,云雀在低处地上做的窝,可以盛着预报许多玫瑰色黎明到来的欢乐[137a];所以,要是生活还留给我任何的美好,那也许就包含在某个屈服、落魄和羞辱的瞬间[137b]。不管怎样,我可以纯粹按自己的发展顺其自然,对身受的一切全盘接受,以此来使自己配得上这一切。
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