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I want to get to the point when I shall be able to say, quite simply and without affectation, that the two great turning-points of my life were when my father sent me to Oxford, and when society sent me to prison. I will not say that is the best thing that could have happened to me, for that phrase would savour of too great bitterness towards myself. I would sooner say, or hear it said of me, that I was so typical a child of my age that in my perversity, and for that perversity’s sake, I turned the good things of my life to evil, and the evil things of my life to good. What is said, however, by myself or by others matters little. The important thing, the thing that lies before me, the thing that I have to do, if the brief remainder of my days is not to be maimed, marred, and incomplete, is to absorb into my nature all that has been done to me, to make it part of me, to accept it without complaint, fear, or reluctance. The supreme vice is shallowness. Whatever is realised is right.
希望能达到那个境界,使我能够说,简简单单、自自然然地说,我人生有两大转折点:一是父亲送我进牛津,一是社会送我进监狱。 我不说这对我是最好不过的事,因为那样的话我听着太苦涩了。我更愿意说,或者听人们说,我是这个时代的产儿,太典型了,以致于因为我的乖张变态,为了我的乖张变态,把自己生命中好的变成恶的,恶的变成好的。然而,自己怎么说,别人怎么说,都无关紧要。重要的事,迫在眉睫的事,我不得不做的事,好让自己在剩下无多的日子里不致凋零残缺,便是将加诸于我的一切尽皆吸收进自己的心性,使之成为我的一部分。既来则安,无怨无惧,也不耿耿于怀。恶大莫过于浮浅。无论什么,领悟了就是。
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