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Of course I discern in all our relations, not Destiny merely, but Doom: Doom that walks always swiftly, because she goes to the shedding of blood[25a]. Through your father you[25b] come of a race, marriage with whom is horrible, friendship fatal, and that lays violent hands either on its own life or on the lives of others. In every little circumstance in which the ways of our lives met; in every point of great, or seemingly trivial import in which you came to me for pleasure or for help; in the small chances, the slight accidents that look, in their relation to life, to be no more than the dust that dances in a beam, or the leaf that flutters from a tree, Ruin followed, like the echo of a bitter cry, or the shadow that hunts with the beast of prey[25c]. Our friendship really begins with your begging me in a most pathetic and charming letter to assist you in a position appalling to anyone, doubly so to a young man at Oxford: I do so, and ultimately through your using my name as your friend with Sir George Lewis, I begin to lose his esteem and friendship, a friendship of fifteen years’ standing. When I was deprived of his advice and help and regard I was deprived of the one great safeguard of my life.
当然,你我所有的交往,我看不光是命中注定,而且是在劫难逃:劫数从来是急急难逃,因为她疾步所向的,是血光之地[25a]。因为你父亲的缘故,你[25b]所出身的这个家系,与之联姻是可怕的,与之交谊是致命的;其凶残的手,要么自戮,要么杀人。在每一个小小的场合当你我命途相交,在每一个或至关紧要或像是无关紧要的时刻,你来我处寻乐或者求助,在那些不起眼的机缘和不足道的偶然之中——对生活而言,它们像是浮沉于光影中的纤尘、飘落于树荫下的枯叶——在这些时候,毁灭都尾随左右,像哀号的回声,像猛兽扑食的阴影[25c]。我们的友谊真正是始自你的一封可怜又可爱的信,求我在危急之中助你一把。你当时的境况任谁都会吓坏的,对一个就读于牛津的年轻人更是倍加可怕。我帮了你,并且最终由于你对乔治●刘易斯勋爵用了我的名字称作你的朋友,我开始失去这位十五年老朋友的尊重和友谊。得不到他的忠告、帮助和关心,我生命中便失去了这一大保障。
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